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Love Is in the Air or a Breeding Ground for Codependency

Love is in the air.

February is a month of flying cherubs, roses, chocolate, and giant red hearts displayed as a reminder of what is missing or abundant in your relationship.

I say bullshit to all of the hypocrisy!

As if any of the products sold carry the magic of love.

How can one day, out of the year, make women feel seen and loved or discarded and invisible?

Valentine's day originated in ancient Rome, where a festival called Lupercalia was held in mid-February to celebrate fertility and the coming of spring.

The festival was later Christianized and dedicated to Saint Valentine, a martyr who lived in the 3rd century.

The exact origin of the holiday is unclear but thought to have originated as a celebration of Saint Valentine and his actions as a priest who secretly married couples in defiance of the emperor's ban on marriages.

The holiday is now celebrated on February 14th in many countries around the world and is associated with expressing love and affection through gifts, cards, and other gestures.

National Geographic writes; The earliest possible origin story of Valentine's Day is the pagan holiday Lupercalia. Occurring for centuries in the middle of February, the holiday celebrates fertility. Men would strip naked and sacrifice a goat and dog.

Big Think shares the history of Lupercalia as a day when fertility rites were performed, in which naked women were struck with the hides of the sacrificed animals as the priests ran around Palatine hill counter-clockwise. This was intended to make the women more fertile and aid in childbirth. After this, a matchmaking lottery was held. All of this took place with the help of a lot of drinking. Clothing was optional for members of the public, and people rarely wore it as a result.

OMG, What is loving about that scenario? And to think women were hoping to be chosen by a man with such an animalistic nature. The funny thing is the programming is still evident other than the sprinkling of heart shape confetti, flickering candlelight, and a glass of bubbly.

Shocking, but at least the history is tamed a bit. But the curse still lingers in the hearts of women hoping to be worthy of love from a partner.

Venus, the planet of love, will be in Aquarius January 2 -26, 2023.

What that means for you is it is time to change the old dogma about Valentine's day and create a new meaning. Especially; how you want to feel celebrated in love.

Aquarius is the natural ruler of the 11th house, the house of community, wishes, dreams, and goals. And Uranus is the ruling planet. The planet represents individuality, rebellion, and unconventional behavior.

Create a new definition of love and partnership and wipe away the commercially programmed idealist of cupid and his arrow.

The new definition begins with self-love and knowing your worth.

Here are five signs of a toxic relationship:

  1. Lack of respect: Your partner consistently speaks to you in a demeaning, or dismissive manner and doesn't listen to your opinions or feelings.

  2. Emotional or physical abuse; can range from name-calling and belittling to physical violence or threats.

  3. Control and manipulation: Your partner tries to control every aspect of your life, from who you see to what you wear, and may use manipulation tactics to get their way.

  4. Infidelity: Your partner has been unfaithful to you, either emotionally or physically, and doesn't show remorse or take steps to regain your trust.

  5. No sense of teamwork: Your partner consistently puts their needs ahead of yours and doesn't consider your feelings or work together to find solutions to the problems.


Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which a person manipulates another person into doubting their own perceptions and memories. Here are five signs of gaslighting:

  1. Denying events or facts: The abuser denies events or facts that you know to be true, causing you to question your own memories and perceptions.

  2. Blaming and shifting responsibility: The abuser blames you for their behavior, or shifts responsibility for their actions onto you, making you feel guilty or responsible for things that are not your fault.

  3. Trivializing your concerns: The gaslighter dismisses or minimizes your concerns, making you feel like your feelings and experiences are unimportant.

  4. Isolating you: The gaslighter may try to isolate you from your support system, making it harder for you to get outside perspectives and validation for your experiences.

  5. Projecting their own behavior onto you: The gaslighter may accuse you of doing things that they are actually guilty of, such as lying or being overly emotional.

It's important to remember that gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, and it is never your fault. If you suspect you are being gaslighted, it is important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional.

Here are five signs of codependency:

  1. Difficulty setting boundaries: You have a hard time saying "no" to others and finding a balance between your own needs and the needs of others.

  2. Low self-esteem: You feel that your worth and value as a person depend on the opinions and approval of others,